Lonely But Not Alone: Myriad factors influence widespread feelings of loneliness and isolation

This is our summary of a recent article written by Community Health Magazine. Please read the original article here.

Loneliness is affecting millions of Americans, and its impact may be more than just a fleeting feeling.

In fact, prolonged loneliness or lack of social connection is as unhealthy as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, raises the risk of premature death by nearly 30%, and increases the likelihood of a host of health problems including heart disease, stroke, anxiety, depression and dementia, according to a report released in May by the U.S. Surgeon General’s office.

“Loneliness is a significant and ongoing problem that is continuing to grow,” says Dr. Jill Schoeneman-Parker, a licensed clinical psychologist. “Different studies are citing the significant impacts of loneliness on physical health and on mental health.”

Schoeneman-Parker, like Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, notes that loneliness was a concern prior to the COVID-19 pandemic.

“Certainly, COVID has not been a friend in addressing issues of social isolation and loneliness,” Schoeneman-Parker explains. “It’s important to recognize that prior to COVID, Americans were already worried about an epidemic of loneliness.”

A pre-pandemic report from the National Academy of Sciences, Engineering and Medicine found that in 2020, one-third of people over the age of 45 reported being lonely, according to Schoeneman-Parker.

Roots of Loneliness

Loneliness can be felt differently depending on the person and their circumstances. Loneliness and social isolation are similar, but are not synonomous. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), loneliness is “the feeling of being alone, regardless of social contact.”

Social isolation, on the other hand, is a lack of social connections and can lead to loneliness in some people. Others can feel lonely despite not being socially isolated, according to the CDC.

“When people experience loneliness, there is a perceived gap between the individual’s desired connections and actual social relationships,” Schoeneman-Parker says. “Keep in mind, people can be alone and not feel lonely.”

Grief over the death of a partner, spouse or other close relationship can include loneliness, whether due to the loss of interaction with the person who has died, or to the connections between others that person provided.

And while some people may crave more social connectivity, other factors might make that difficult.

“It can become complicated if an individual is struggling with social anxiety, let’s say, and they are very much wanting more social interaction, but the anxiety gets in the way and inhibits them from taking steps to connect with others,” Schoeneman-Parker says.

Changes in family or work dynamics can also contribute to loneliness. People with poor physical health and pre-existing mental health conditions also are more likely to be lonely and isolated.

Others may feel lonely despite being connected to others. In that case, they may need to evaluate whether their interests and values have changed, and seek different opportunities for interacting with others.

Schoeneman-Parker stresses that people have different desires when it comes to levels of social interaction.

“There is a range of what people need in terms of social interactions and time being alone by themselves,” she says. “We all are social creatures and have social needs. But what an individual needs is going to vary significantly.”

Among the factors that can influence a person’s desire for social interaction is the holiday season.

Holidays can be times of loneliness and disconnect between one’s expectations and what actually happens, says Schoeneman-Parker. While some people have a wonderful time with family and friends, others may have a different experience within the same environment.

“That could be based on a misalignment of feeling connected to those around them, or there could be tremendous social isolation and loss,” she explains. “Whenever we take an opportunity to gather, whether literally or metaphorically, and we are sitting around the table and noticing all the people there — or who are not there — feelings can easily be stirred up.”

Young People At Risk

Young adults are at the greatest risk and report the highest levels of loneliness, says Schoeneman-Parker.

According to the Surgeon General report, the highest rates of social isolation are found among older adults, but young adults are almost twice as likely to report feeling lonely than those over 65. The rate of loneliness among young adults has increased every year between 1976 and 2019.

During COVID, social distancing kept people apart, but young people who have grown up in an age of digital communication had an easier time connecting remotely. Older adults who did not increase their use of technology during this time missed out on that connection; even those who did increase their use of technology still reported loneliness, Schoeneman-Parker says.

“It is important to remember that learning new tasks is more difficult as we age and, even in the best circumstance, technology is not going to replace all the sensory impact of being in a room with another person,” she adds.

While technology can foster some connection, too much social media can be detrimental. The Surgeon General report references a study in which participants who reported using social media for more than two hours a day had double the chance of reporting an increased perception of social isolation compared to those who used social media for fewer than 30 minutes each day.

In the Classroom

“The Internet and digital technology have revolutionized the way we live, learn and interact with the world,” says Jerry Sparby, an educator with more than five decades of experience as a teacher, counselor and administrator. “However, we must not forget the importance of fostering genuine emotional connections within our houses and communities.”

Sparby stresses the importance of those connections as well as open communication for children.

“Children today are not just influenced by their immediate environment,” he notes. “They are surrounded by a world teeming with noises, distractions and overwhelming opportunities to disassociate from reality. This phenomenon exacerbates the stress levels of young minds, leading to heightened feelings of anxiety, isolation and loneliness.”

In 2017, Sparby developed the non-profit organization HuddLUp, which features games that foster bonding and connection. The organization has engaged with more than 100 classrooms and introduced 15 to 20 new games each year to be used inside and outside the classroom.

The games help students become involved, build connections and create community within classrooms through play, he says. The organization also provides training on breathing techniques that may reduce stress.

“The modern world places immense stress on parents, teachers and students alike, threatening to dampen the joy of nurturing these connections,” Sparby says. “It is crucial that we address this issue to ensure that relationships remain strong and lifelong bonds are forged between parents, children and teachers.”

Community Connections

The Surgeon General’s advisory and report on loneliness included six pillars to advance social connection. They include strengthening social infrastructure in local communities, enacting pro-connection public policies, mobilizing the health sector, reforming digital environments, deepening knowledge and awareness and building a culture of connection.

For individuals, this might mean participating in social and community groups such as those related to fitness, religion, hobbies and community service. Community groups, according to the report, should also seek to build partnerships with schools, workplaces and other organizations to “create a culture of connection.”

Actively engaging with those who have different backgrounds and experiences is also a recommendation, as is making time for civic engagement like town halls or school board meetings.

“For individuals who may have been struggling with loneliness for a long time, it is easy to have our brains play tricks on us,” says Schoeneman-Parker, who adds that examining feelings of loneliness is important and can help to avoid negative feelings, misperceptions and negative self-talk, as well as a prolonged emotional state like depression or anxiety. “If the struggles persist, reaching out to a professional would be an excellent thing to do.”